that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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