Three words: puerto rican gang bang
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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