You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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