Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
