apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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