Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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