just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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