Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
