hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
