i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
