last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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