I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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