Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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