I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
soo... how was my night?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
