I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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