BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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