they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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