Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
