I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
