I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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