This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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