Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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