Me. At least after what I've been through.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
