am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
