Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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