Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
