But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
