Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Sober January is a disaster.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
