i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
