I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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