I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Randomize
