I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
