I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i will never coherently bang her
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
