Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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