We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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