I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
