We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
