pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
pop tarts are not kleenex
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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