me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
