I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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