That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
