carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
