i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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