Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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