That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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