jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
