I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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