Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
