i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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