is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
