I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
