Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
