so explain again why im purple
no
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
