K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
