Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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