No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
