Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
