Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he was CRYING into my vagina
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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