i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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