I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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