mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
