we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
