I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
